Forgiveness

I sat in the car last Sunday afternoon, gripping my husband's hand as a tear slid down my cheek. We had driven past a place that holds some very, very bad memories for me.

Some of you know that last spring I went through an extremely traumatic situation. It wounded me to the core and left me questioning everything I knew about life, who I am, even who God is. Now, nearly a year later, I can see that some very good things have come out of what originally felt like a hopeless situation. The Lord has done a lot in my heart, and with the support of my husband, family, and a few close friends I have been able to heal and recover more than I ever could've alone.

So why does it still hurt so much?

The more I thought and prayed about it, the more I realized that forgiveness and healing are inextricably linked, and together they form a living, ongoing growth. What I mean to say is that you can't have one without the other, and neither is a one-time event. Although I have forgiven him before, as life changes sometimes it needs to be done again.

In light of that, I want to say publicly:

I forgive the man who hurt me. I forgive him for what he did to me emotionally as well as physically. I forgive everyone connected with him for their part in the situation. I forgive the people that jumped to conclusions and judged me without hearing my side of the story. And I forgive myself, because I can't keep blaming myself for what I can't change.

A dear sister who has been there for me through it all

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you." -Lewis B. Smedes

Forgiveness and healing go hand in hand. Does it mean that the hurt immediately goes away? NO. It doesn't. But it means that the hurt and the memories and the nightmares can't hold you captive. It means that you can experience the freedom, the liberation, that comes when you let it go. And every time the bad memories come flooding back and threaten to overwhelm, that still small voice in my
heart reminds me to forgive again (and again, and again - see Matthew 18:22), and then and only then do I find victory.

We've all been hurt, we've all felt pain, and we all have a choice on how to react. As Martin Luther King Jr once said, "Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude."