I Am a Soldier

I have been an Army National Guard soldier for over 2 years now. I wanted to join the military since I was a kid, and I love being a soldier. But at the same time, I have learned that the military is not what I thought it was.

Forbes.com lists enlisted military personnel as number 1 on their list of the most stressful jobs in 2014. Even for us part time soldiers, whether National Guard or Reserve, military duty comes with its own unique stresses and issues. Poor leadership, lack of organization, and inadequate equipment and funding are some of our biggest problems. But on top of everything else, being a female soldier adds a whole new stress set.

Males in the military have it easier in many respects. The majority of NCOs are male, which means that whenever males and females are segregated (in barracks, for instance) the males have better access to information being put out by the leadership. Male soldiers are expected to meet standards, but females are often assumed to be the weak links and have to work harder to prove that we are just as capable as our male counterparts. Most of our gear is sized to the average male frame, which means that our uniforms never quite fit right and our equipment is usually somewhat uncomfortable.

Fitting in is extremely difficult. There's a choice to be made: to be "one of the guys" usually involves swearing, rude jokes, and bragging about consuming copious amounts of alcohol. On the other hand, to refrain from these habits marks you as different, which usually results in being less liked and less included. As a female, you want your battle buddies to know that you have their backs - but if gaining their trust requires changing who you are, is it worth it?

Even outside the military life, female soldiers have a harder time adjusting. Males in the military have an elevated status in civilian life as well, as they are perceived to be more masculine due to their military service. Female soldiers, however, often have a very difficult time blending into civilian life as our training and experiences cause us to be different from most women.

I am proud to be a soldier, and I am proud to be a female soldier. So much of who I am today has been shaped by my journey as a service member, and I can't help but feel proud of the uniform I wear and the great tradition that has been passed down to us. Yet I can't help but wonder - if those who went before us could see what the military has become, would they be proud of the way that we carry on their legacy? So much has changed, and so much has yet to change, and perhaps some things have changed too much. At any rate, I'm proud to be a soldier.

Last Sunday I participated in the military salute during the opening ceremonies of the Indianapolis 500. There were service members from all branches of the military mixed in and marching together. When we marched out on the track, we were given a standing ovation. We came to a halt in front of the grandstand and stood at attention until the color guard presented the colors. We presented arms and held the salute through God Bless America and the Star-Spangled Banner, two jets flew over the track, the crowd cheered, and we marched off the track. And my heart swelled with pride in our beautiful country and everything that the uniform represents.

Every soldier, sailor, Marine, and airman who has worn the uniform has given a piece of themselves to this life that we live. Every man and woman who has put the uniform on, knowing it could be their last time, has taken a stand for our future and our children's future. And every hero who has given the ultimate sacrifice has paid the price of the freedoms we hold dear.

Some things in life are worth the cost of sacrifice. To be a soldier, to carry on this tradition, to fill the boots of those that have gone before me - that is worth the inconveniences of military life. It is worth the pain, the blisters, the sunburns, the torn tendons in my left knee, the tears, the terrible food, the times I've been yelled at when it wasn't my fault, the missed weekends, the time away from my family, the social awkwardness, the low pay, the lack of sleep, the sweat, the blood...what are they really? Small sacrifices compared to those who have given everything. Small sacrifices.

I am a soldier. I am a female soldier. And I am proud.