I Am a Soldier

I have been an Army National Guard soldier for over 2 years now. I wanted to join the military since I was a kid, and I love being a soldier. But at the same time, I have learned that the military is not what I thought it was.

Forbes.com lists enlisted military personnel as number 1 on their list of the most stressful jobs in 2014. Even for us part time soldiers, whether National Guard or Reserve, military duty comes with its own unique stresses and issues. Poor leadership, lack of organization, and inadequate equipment and funding are some of our biggest problems. But on top of everything else, being a female soldier adds a whole new stress set.

Males in the military have it easier in many respects. The majority of NCOs are male, which means that whenever males and females are segregated (in barracks, for instance) the males have better access to information being put out by the leadership. Male soldiers are expected to meet standards, but females are often assumed to be the weak links and have to work harder to prove that we are just as capable as our male counterparts. Most of our gear is sized to the average male frame, which means that our uniforms never quite fit right and our equipment is usually somewhat uncomfortable.

Fitting in is extremely difficult. There's a choice to be made: to be "one of the guys" usually involves swearing, rude jokes, and bragging about consuming copious amounts of alcohol. On the other hand, to refrain from these habits marks you as different, which usually results in being less liked and less included. As a female, you want your battle buddies to know that you have their backs - but if gaining their trust requires changing who you are, is it worth it?

Even outside the military life, female soldiers have a harder time adjusting. Males in the military have an elevated status in civilian life as well, as they are perceived to be more masculine due to their military service. Female soldiers, however, often have a very difficult time blending into civilian life as our training and experiences cause us to be different from most women.

I am proud to be a soldier, and I am proud to be a female soldier. So much of who I am today has been shaped by my journey as a service member, and I can't help but feel proud of the uniform I wear and the great tradition that has been passed down to us. Yet I can't help but wonder - if those who went before us could see what the military has become, would they be proud of the way that we carry on their legacy? So much has changed, and so much has yet to change, and perhaps some things have changed too much. At any rate, I'm proud to be a soldier.

Last Sunday I participated in the military salute during the opening ceremonies of the Indianapolis 500. There were service members from all branches of the military mixed in and marching together. When we marched out on the track, we were given a standing ovation. We came to a halt in front of the grandstand and stood at attention until the color guard presented the colors. We presented arms and held the salute through God Bless America and the Star-Spangled Banner, two jets flew over the track, the crowd cheered, and we marched off the track. And my heart swelled with pride in our beautiful country and everything that the uniform represents.

Every soldier, sailor, Marine, and airman who has worn the uniform has given a piece of themselves to this life that we live. Every man and woman who has put the uniform on, knowing it could be their last time, has taken a stand for our future and our children's future. And every hero who has given the ultimate sacrifice has paid the price of the freedoms we hold dear.

Some things in life are worth the cost of sacrifice. To be a soldier, to carry on this tradition, to fill the boots of those that have gone before me - that is worth the inconveniences of military life. It is worth the pain, the blisters, the sunburns, the torn tendons in my left knee, the tears, the terrible food, the times I've been yelled at when it wasn't my fault, the missed weekends, the time away from my family, the social awkwardness, the low pay, the lack of sleep, the sweat, the blood...what are they really? Small sacrifices compared to those who have given everything. Small sacrifices.

I am a soldier. I am a female soldier. And I am proud.

Memorial Day

I am proud to be a soldier. I am proud to serve this country, proud to wear the uniform, proud to be a part of a beautiful tradition of courage and honor. But today is not about me, nor about any other living veteran; we have our own day, Veterans Day, and it is not this day.

This day is Memorial Day. This day is set aside to remember those who have paid the ultimate sacrifice, who have died in service to their country. This day is for valuing the freedoms we have as Americans and paying tribute to those who gave their lives to preserve those freedoms.

Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, photo not mine

“A veteran is someone who, at one point in their life wrote a blank check made payable to “The United States of America,” for an amount up to and including their life.”   — Unknown

IN FLANDERS FIELDS

In Flanders fields the poppies blow

Between the crosses, row on row,

That mark our place; and in the sky

The larks, still bravely singing, fly

Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago

We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,

Loved and were loved, and now we lie

In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:

To you from failing hands we throw

The torch; be yours to hold it high.

If ye break faith with us who die

We shall not sleep, though poppies grow

In Flanders fields.

-Lt Col John McCrae, 1915

Wreaths

First off, I have a blessing to share: I got a promotion! I'm now an admin! There's still stress, I'm still on my feet all day, etc, but I'm actually enjoying this job. And for once, I'm starting to think perhaps I could make a career out of this line of work. We shall see where it goes, but for now I'm enjoying organizing paperwork, delegating to coaches, and assisting the management. I'm very blessed!

In the meantime, I spent a little while today shopping for annual training, and tonight I will be spending a good deal of time packing for said annual training. It is, in fact, that time of year. And in all fairness, it's my first AT - last year I had orders as support for a big training event, so this is my first time going to AT. So should be an interesting experience. I'm hoping for some good training, plenty of shooting time, and hopefully a promotion. :)

On a different note, I got crafty recently and decided our front door, which has been bare since after Christmas, needed a new wreath! While I was at it, I made both a spring wreath and a summer wreath.

I'm not entirely happy with the spring wreath yet. I'm thinking that perhaps in the future I might wrap some leaves around the bare part of the wreath, but for the time being, it hangs cheerfully on our door just as it is.

Before: a grapevine wreath, a nice bunch of silk flowers, and a wooden letter. I painted the letter yellow and decided where to place the flowers.

A little hot glue on the flower stems to make sure that they stayed in place, and glued twist ties on the back of the letter D, and here's the finished product:

For the summer wreath, I began with a slightly smaller grapevine wreath, a set of red, white, and blue flowers, and another letter.

Again, I painted the letter and glued twist ties on the back, and glued the flower stems in place. It turned out pretty great too!

Overall, I'm pretty happy with the wreaths! The spring wreath currently hangs on our door and certainly brightens up our entryway, and has inspired some of our neighbors to also hang wreaths. Happy spring to everyone!