On Love, Marriage, and Humility

A few days ago, the Supreme Court made a groundbreaking, widely publicized decision regarding marriage rights.

Now before I go any farther, I want to preface this discussion with a disclaimer: I am a person, a citizen of the US, and a believer in Christ. As such, I am entitled to my opinions and beliefs. You are also a person, and you are also entitled to your opinions and beliefs. Knowing that this issue is very controversial, I am requesting mutual respect in regards to everyone’s opinions and beliefs. I’m not trying to bait anyone or offend anyone, and if you want to debate the issue or unfriend me after hearing my opinions and beliefs, then that is your right to do so. However, in any discussions or debates, please stay respectful of others’ opinions and beliefs.

So back to gay marriage. Or, I should say, to marriage. 

Let me tell you a story… A story of how my marriage taught me to support marriage rights for everyone.

My husband and I lived together before we were married. According to many people’s understanding of the Bible, this is immoral, which led a lot of well-meaning people to tell us that we were in sin. However, based on our understanding of the Scriptures and our personal relationships with our God, we did not believe that we were doing anything wrong – and, for the record, still don’t. I have posted before about letting everyone’s personal relationship with God be personal, and about how our God is more than capable of communicating with His children about what He wants of them. But I digress. 

This belief, held by several well-meaning friends and family members, led them to object to our marriage. I remember being completely shocked and dumbfounded to hear from family members that they thought that we should not get married simply because they believed that we had been doing wrong. Regardless of our own beliefs, and our own personal relationship with God, we were told that we should not publicly and legally vow to love each other and stay true to each other – just because someone else did not agree with our relationship and the way we live our lives.

And that’s when it finally hit me. I finally understood what many of our gay, lesbian, etc. brothers and sisters have experienced. I finally understood what it is like to love someone with all your heart and to want nothing more than to publicly promise your love and faithfulness to that person – and be told that because someone else disagrees with your choices in life or your relationship with that person, therefore you cannot marry them. I finally got it.

I used to be a very judgmental person. I was raised in a belief system that leaves very little room for differences of opinion – and, by extension, very little room for the Holy Spirit. If we truly believe that God is who He says He is, that He is capable of maintaining a personal, intimate relationship with each of His children, then who are we to judge another person’s decisions made in the context of their relationship with God? 

Who are you to judge the servant of another? To his own master he stands or falls; and he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand. Romans 14:4

Let each person answer to their own master. If you disagree with their lives, their choices, who they love, who they wish to marry, how they raise their families, where they live, or any other aspect of their life that they live as a servant of the living God, step down off that pedestal and remember that you too are a servant. Just as a master can give each of his servants different orders, God can handle His servants and the lives they live. Answer to your own master and let every other servant answer to their own master.

So whether or not you believe that it should be okay for people of the same sex to marry each other, please acknowledge that their lives and choices are between them and God. They are not bound to live by your convictions, beliefs, or opinions any more than you are bound to live by theirs. 

As for me, I think weddings are beautiful, especially between two people who love each other more than life itself and are willing to pledge the rest of their lives to loving each other unconditionally and facing all of life’s challenges together. Whether those two people are of the same or different genders, same or different races, same or different religions/denominations/beliefs, same or different ages, same or different social classes – why does that matter? The world can be a dark and ugly place, but when you face it with the person who stays by your side and never leaves you to face it alone, it can be a beautiful adventure. That’s what marriage should be about, not senseless squabbles and hurt feelings over other people’s choices and the way they live their lives. 

Celebrate with the joyful. Empathize with the grieving. Do everything in kindness and respect for one another. 

He has told you, O man, what is good—
    and what does the Lord require of you,
but to do justice and to love kindness,
    and to walk humbly with your God?

Micah 6:8

Jesus said to him, “ ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’” Matthew 22:36-40

It’s really that simple.

A beautiful memory from our wedding

"No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right. The judgment of the Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit is reversed. It is so ordered." – Justice Kennedy

Hiking Photos

After that last post, I decided to share some photos of the scenery from our last few camping trips. We especially enjoy walking and hiking, and enjoying the natural environment. Here are some of our favorites!

I love the vibrancy of spring leaves

The trail less traveled

We stumbled across this cabin in the woods

The beauty of a fern springing from the dead leaves

These delicate lavender flowers stole my attention

I can't help treasuring them

Daisies pushing their cheerful heads to the sky

A shower of white blossoms light up the trees

A pretty little green snake just chilling in the path

The grandeur of the tall trees reaching for the skies

The sun peeking through the leaves

A fire lookout tower with about 120 steps

The view from the tower looking over the trees

The trees reaching for the wide open sky

The unbelievably beautiful open sky

I took the trail less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. -Robert Frost

Camping

Building a campfire

My wonderful honey and I rarely get time off together, but when we do, camping is one of our favorite activities. Especially considering that, when we first started out together, we lived in a tent for about 2 months (it's a long story), camping has always been one of our favorite activities.

Setting up the tent while
#3 supervises

It started with tent camping. We have this lovely tent, about the size of our apartment living room - big enough to fit a queen size air mattress in one half and still have plenty of room for everything else. It's relatively easy to put up, and goes up in a few minutes with teamwork.

#3 likes camping as long as she gets to run around and enjoy the scenery. She doesn't have the endurance for long hikes but she enjoys walks in the woods. However, she hates being left alone. We tried to leave her alone in the tent once - she tore a hole through the screening over a window opening.

#3 enjoying camping

We used to use a smaller tent to store food and essentials, but had to learn the hard way to keep them out of reach of animals when a raccoon chewed a hole in the tent to get to our food. Now we use hard-sided coolers and boxes to store food away from any nibbling guests! We try to get spaces close to water sources and, when possible, electrical sources, but we don't mind roughing it now and then.

The main problem with tents, however (besides the ability for uninvited woodland critters to get in and #3's ability to get out), is the susceptibility to the elements. Tents are cold at night and tend to get uncomfortably hot in the daytime. Once we woke up in the middle of a storm to find that the tent had fallen on top of us while we were sleeping! Tents also give you no privacy from loud neighbors at the campground, and when people around us are causing noise and ruckus, we don't get much sleep.

Grilling under the awning

With all this in mind, after much consideration, my sweet hubby and I decided to get a travel trailer! It's a big investment, and it's actually the first home we've owned together. It's hard-sided, providing protection from the temperature, wind, storms, and loud noises. The trailer has air conditioning and heat, so it is comfortable in any weather; it has a bed, an eating area, a tiny bathroom and a full kitchenette, making camping so much easier than anything a tent can provide. We can choose to cook over the campfire or use a small stove, oven, or microwave. We can leave #3 in it safely when we need to go into town, too.

Enjoying the camper

For us, the point of camping is relaxation, a time to get from everything and just enjoy spending time together. There's nothing like brats and smores cooked on the campfire, sitting with the one you love, listening to the noises of the woods, with no rush and no place to be. We may still camp in tents sometimes just for the fun of it, but the trailer makes it so much easier that we have that much more time for relaxing and simply enjoying the time away.

It's the value of these times together that make life sweeter. Isn't that what a vacation should be?