The Next Chapter

Ever felt like you're right on the brink of something huge? 

Like standing on the edge of a cliff, scared to jump off but knowing that you will always regret it if you don't jump?

Well, my wonderful husband and I have spent a lot of time thinking and praying about where we are in our lives right now. We're both working 12 hour night shifts, hardly ever spending time together, and always short on money, just trying to make ends meet. And there just doesn't seem to be much out there as far as better options. It's not a sustainable life - we can't keep living like this for the next 20 years. We want to start a family, to buy a house and settle down, to have rocking chairs sitting on a wrap-around porch and time to relax in them once in awhile. The path we're on right now is just not getting us there...

A recent camping trip

So we've decided to hit the road.

We've been talking about it ever since we've been together - a backup plan, if you will - and now we've finally decided to do it. We're going to be truckers!

You, Me, and #3 are going on the road. We're starting CDL school on Monday, and if all goes well, Lord willing in three weeks we will be newly certified CDL holders. From there, whatever company we sign on with will conduct their own training course (usually 3-6 weeks). And then we'll be on our own, just the three of us and the open road.

Can I just say how amazing that sounds? Other than this past Valentine's Day, my sweet hubby and I have never had a holiday together, and our days off rarely coincide. Of course, a good deal of time in the truck will be spent with one person driving and the other person sleeping, but still, we'll be together. And whatever challenges and issues we face while driving, we can face them together instead of having to deal with them alone.

Of course, there's a scary side to this, too. We've put in notice at our jobs, apartment, etc. There's really no safety net here, and not much of a margin on the budget either. It's a huge step of faith, and quite frankly, it's terrifying.

It would be easy to repeat the cliche, God will provide. It's true - I know He will, I've seen Him do it time and again. However, it is not enough to simply sit on one's rear end and wait for Him to provide. That is not the life He has called us to by any means. 

"For even when we were with you, we commanded you this: If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat." 2 Thessalonians 3:10

This step is huge, but Lord willing, it is the step that will help us get to where we want to be. Operating under the principle of sacrificing now to get what you want later (i.e., delayed gratification), taking a few years now to live on the road and do without a lot of things in life that we take for granted will benefit us greatly in the long run. Without many bills to pay, we can pay off what debt we have and set aside money for our future. After a few years, and we see what happens with the economy and a new president in office, perhaps there will be better jobs out there for us. Decent jobs with regular hours, a house on some property, a couple of little munchkins...all of that is out of our reach right now, but is feasible in a few years if we make this sacrifice now.

Boating on a lake

In the meantime, we prepare to learn as much as we can during school and over-the-road training, so that we can be as prepared as possible for the challenges ahead. It's a new chapter in our lives, one that is very exciting (albeit slightly scary!), and we can't wait to see what God has for us on this journey. Please keep us in prayer as we take this huge step! And never fear, I plan to document the highlights and interesting moments as they come, as well as scenery and events we encounter when we're finally on the road! 

We're right on the edge of the cliff, leaning forward, feet leaving the edge, committing to the dive, knowing that we could smash to a painful death on the rocks below...but looking forward to spreading our wings and learning to fly!

So keep on climbing, though the ground might shake,  

Just keep on reaching though the limb might break,  

We've come this far, don't you be scared now,  

'Cause you can learn to fly on the way down.  

-Maddie and Tae, "Fly"

The Value of Family

My parents and I, Fall 2012

Tonight I had a long talk on the phone with my mama. Sighs...oh how I miss that lady.

A week or two ago, I had a nice phone conversation with my dad as well - which is slightly unusual since neither of us are very good at chatting on the phone. I miss him too.

And a few weeks ago, we took a few days off and helped my sweet husband's parents move into a new house. I've always gotten along with them, but it was my first chance to really spend time with them and we bonded in a new and wonderful way. And I miss them too.

Hubby with his parents, Spring 2014

And of course, there's my hubby's brother and sister and their spouses and children. Years ago, when I used to pray for my future husband, I wished for a man with a close-knit family. Having no siblings of my own, getting a ready-made family in my in-laws, nieces, and nephews, is an incredible blessing. I miss them too.

And then there's the people that I consider family that aren't actually related. People like my "sisters," Krystle and Kaitlyn; like my "grandfather," Phil; like my "nieces" and "nephew" in California; and like several other people that are dear to my heart. Of course, none of them are close enough to see regularly, and so I miss each and every one.

Someone once said, "Family is not always blood. It's the people in your life who want you in theirs, the ones who accept you for who you are."

Someday we might live closer to some of our family members, but there will always be people that we love who are not nearby. There will always be pieces of our hearts in other places. It can't be helped. But we can't let that stop us from meeting and loving new people and making friends and "family" in new places.

Nor can we let it stop us from being the kind of people that love and accept others in the way that family should. After all, we all share the same Heavenly Father, which makes us all family! Everyone we meet can be a brother or sister, a friend and neighbor, a fellow sinner in need of saving grace. Let's be the kind of family to each other that makes our Heavenly Father proud.

Welcome to the family!

On Love, Marriage, and Humility

A few days ago, the Supreme Court made a groundbreaking, widely publicized decision regarding marriage rights.

Now before I go any farther, I want to preface this discussion with a disclaimer: I am a person, a citizen of the US, and a believer in Christ. As such, I am entitled to my opinions and beliefs. You are also a person, and you are also entitled to your opinions and beliefs. Knowing that this issue is very controversial, I am requesting mutual respect in regards to everyone’s opinions and beliefs. I’m not trying to bait anyone or offend anyone, and if you want to debate the issue or unfriend me after hearing my opinions and beliefs, then that is your right to do so. However, in any discussions or debates, please stay respectful of others’ opinions and beliefs.

So back to gay marriage. Or, I should say, to marriage. 

Let me tell you a story… A story of how my marriage taught me to support marriage rights for everyone.

My husband and I lived together before we were married. According to many people’s understanding of the Bible, this is immoral, which led a lot of well-meaning people to tell us that we were in sin. However, based on our understanding of the Scriptures and our personal relationships with our God, we did not believe that we were doing anything wrong – and, for the record, still don’t. I have posted before about letting everyone’s personal relationship with God be personal, and about how our God is more than capable of communicating with His children about what He wants of them. But I digress. 

This belief, held by several well-meaning friends and family members, led them to object to our marriage. I remember being completely shocked and dumbfounded to hear from family members that they thought that we should not get married simply because they believed that we had been doing wrong. Regardless of our own beliefs, and our own personal relationship with God, we were told that we should not publicly and legally vow to love each other and stay true to each other – just because someone else did not agree with our relationship and the way we live our lives.

And that’s when it finally hit me. I finally understood what many of our gay, lesbian, etc. brothers and sisters have experienced. I finally understood what it is like to love someone with all your heart and to want nothing more than to publicly promise your love and faithfulness to that person – and be told that because someone else disagrees with your choices in life or your relationship with that person, therefore you cannot marry them. I finally got it.

I used to be a very judgmental person. I was raised in a belief system that leaves very little room for differences of opinion – and, by extension, very little room for the Holy Spirit. If we truly believe that God is who He says He is, that He is capable of maintaining a personal, intimate relationship with each of His children, then who are we to judge another person’s decisions made in the context of their relationship with God? 

Who are you to judge the servant of another? To his own master he stands or falls; and he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand. Romans 14:4

Let each person answer to their own master. If you disagree with their lives, their choices, who they love, who they wish to marry, how they raise their families, where they live, or any other aspect of their life that they live as a servant of the living God, step down off that pedestal and remember that you too are a servant. Just as a master can give each of his servants different orders, God can handle His servants and the lives they live. Answer to your own master and let every other servant answer to their own master.

So whether or not you believe that it should be okay for people of the same sex to marry each other, please acknowledge that their lives and choices are between them and God. They are not bound to live by your convictions, beliefs, or opinions any more than you are bound to live by theirs. 

As for me, I think weddings are beautiful, especially between two people who love each other more than life itself and are willing to pledge the rest of their lives to loving each other unconditionally and facing all of life’s challenges together. Whether those two people are of the same or different genders, same or different races, same or different religions/denominations/beliefs, same or different ages, same or different social classes – why does that matter? The world can be a dark and ugly place, but when you face it with the person who stays by your side and never leaves you to face it alone, it can be a beautiful adventure. That’s what marriage should be about, not senseless squabbles and hurt feelings over other people’s choices and the way they live their lives. 

Celebrate with the joyful. Empathize with the grieving. Do everything in kindness and respect for one another. 

He has told you, O man, what is good—
    and what does the Lord require of you,
but to do justice and to love kindness,
    and to walk humbly with your God?

Micah 6:8

Jesus said to him, “ ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’” Matthew 22:36-40

It’s really that simple.

A beautiful memory from our wedding

"No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right. The judgment of the Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit is reversed. It is so ordered." – Justice Kennedy

Hiking Photos

After that last post, I decided to share some photos of the scenery from our last few camping trips. We especially enjoy walking and hiking, and enjoying the natural environment. Here are some of our favorites!

I love the vibrancy of spring leaves

The trail less traveled

We stumbled across this cabin in the woods

The beauty of a fern springing from the dead leaves

These delicate lavender flowers stole my attention

I can't help treasuring them

Daisies pushing their cheerful heads to the sky

A shower of white blossoms light up the trees

A pretty little green snake just chilling in the path

The grandeur of the tall trees reaching for the skies

The sun peeking through the leaves

A fire lookout tower with about 120 steps

The view from the tower looking over the trees

The trees reaching for the wide open sky

The unbelievably beautiful open sky

I took the trail less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. -Robert Frost

Camping

Building a campfire

My wonderful honey and I rarely get time off together, but when we do, camping is one of our favorite activities. Especially considering that, when we first started out together, we lived in a tent for about 2 months (it's a long story), camping has always been one of our favorite activities.

Setting up the tent while
#3 supervises

It started with tent camping. We have this lovely tent, about the size of our apartment living room - big enough to fit a queen size air mattress in one half and still have plenty of room for everything else. It's relatively easy to put up, and goes up in a few minutes with teamwork.

#3 likes camping as long as she gets to run around and enjoy the scenery. She doesn't have the endurance for long hikes but she enjoys walks in the woods. However, she hates being left alone. We tried to leave her alone in the tent once - she tore a hole through the screening over a window opening.

#3 enjoying camping

We used to use a smaller tent to store food and essentials, but had to learn the hard way to keep them out of reach of animals when a raccoon chewed a hole in the tent to get to our food. Now we use hard-sided coolers and boxes to store food away from any nibbling guests! We try to get spaces close to water sources and, when possible, electrical sources, but we don't mind roughing it now and then.

The main problem with tents, however (besides the ability for uninvited woodland critters to get in and #3's ability to get out), is the susceptibility to the elements. Tents are cold at night and tend to get uncomfortably hot in the daytime. Once we woke up in the middle of a storm to find that the tent had fallen on top of us while we were sleeping! Tents also give you no privacy from loud neighbors at the campground, and when people around us are causing noise and ruckus, we don't get much sleep.

Grilling under the awning

With all this in mind, after much consideration, my sweet hubby and I decided to get a travel trailer! It's a big investment, and it's actually the first home we've owned together. It's hard-sided, providing protection from the temperature, wind, storms, and loud noises. The trailer has air conditioning and heat, so it is comfortable in any weather; it has a bed, an eating area, a tiny bathroom and a full kitchenette, making camping so much easier than anything a tent can provide. We can choose to cook over the campfire or use a small stove, oven, or microwave. We can leave #3 in it safely when we need to go into town, too.

Enjoying the camper

For us, the point of camping is relaxation, a time to get from everything and just enjoy spending time together. There's nothing like brats and smores cooked on the campfire, sitting with the one you love, listening to the noises of the woods, with no rush and no place to be. We may still camp in tents sometimes just for the fun of it, but the trailer makes it so much easier that we have that much more time for relaxing and simply enjoying the time away.

It's the value of these times together that make life sweeter. Isn't that what a vacation should be?

I Am a Soldier

I have been an Army National Guard soldier for over 2 years now. I wanted to join the military since I was a kid, and I love being a soldier. But at the same time, I have learned that the military is not what I thought it was.

Forbes.com lists enlisted military personnel as number 1 on their list of the most stressful jobs in 2014. Even for us part time soldiers, whether National Guard or Reserve, military duty comes with its own unique stresses and issues. Poor leadership, lack of organization, and inadequate equipment and funding are some of our biggest problems. But on top of everything else, being a female soldier adds a whole new stress set.

Males in the military have it easier in many respects. The majority of NCOs are male, which means that whenever males and females are segregated (in barracks, for instance) the males have better access to information being put out by the leadership. Male soldiers are expected to meet standards, but females are often assumed to be the weak links and have to work harder to prove that we are just as capable as our male counterparts. Most of our gear is sized to the average male frame, which means that our uniforms never quite fit right and our equipment is usually somewhat uncomfortable.

Fitting in is extremely difficult. There's a choice to be made: to be "one of the guys" usually involves swearing, rude jokes, and bragging about consuming copious amounts of alcohol. On the other hand, to refrain from these habits marks you as different, which usually results in being less liked and less included. As a female, you want your battle buddies to know that you have their backs - but if gaining their trust requires changing who you are, is it worth it?

Even outside the military life, female soldiers have a harder time adjusting. Males in the military have an elevated status in civilian life as well, as they are perceived to be more masculine due to their military service. Female soldiers, however, often have a very difficult time blending into civilian life as our training and experiences cause us to be different from most women.

I am proud to be a soldier, and I am proud to be a female soldier. So much of who I am today has been shaped by my journey as a service member, and I can't help but feel proud of the uniform I wear and the great tradition that has been passed down to us. Yet I can't help but wonder - if those who went before us could see what the military has become, would they be proud of the way that we carry on their legacy? So much has changed, and so much has yet to change, and perhaps some things have changed too much. At any rate, I'm proud to be a soldier.

Last Sunday I participated in the military salute during the opening ceremonies of the Indianapolis 500. There were service members from all branches of the military mixed in and marching together. When we marched out on the track, we were given a standing ovation. We came to a halt in front of the grandstand and stood at attention until the color guard presented the colors. We presented arms and held the salute through God Bless America and the Star-Spangled Banner, two jets flew over the track, the crowd cheered, and we marched off the track. And my heart swelled with pride in our beautiful country and everything that the uniform represents.

Every soldier, sailor, Marine, and airman who has worn the uniform has given a piece of themselves to this life that we live. Every man and woman who has put the uniform on, knowing it could be their last time, has taken a stand for our future and our children's future. And every hero who has given the ultimate sacrifice has paid the price of the freedoms we hold dear.

Some things in life are worth the cost of sacrifice. To be a soldier, to carry on this tradition, to fill the boots of those that have gone before me - that is worth the inconveniences of military life. It is worth the pain, the blisters, the sunburns, the torn tendons in my left knee, the tears, the terrible food, the times I've been yelled at when it wasn't my fault, the missed weekends, the time away from my family, the social awkwardness, the low pay, the lack of sleep, the sweat, the blood...what are they really? Small sacrifices compared to those who have given everything. Small sacrifices.

I am a soldier. I am a female soldier. And I am proud.

Memorial Day

I am proud to be a soldier. I am proud to serve this country, proud to wear the uniform, proud to be a part of a beautiful tradition of courage and honor. But today is not about me, nor about any other living veteran; we have our own day, Veterans Day, and it is not this day.

This day is Memorial Day. This day is set aside to remember those who have paid the ultimate sacrifice, who have died in service to their country. This day is for valuing the freedoms we have as Americans and paying tribute to those who gave their lives to preserve those freedoms.

Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, photo not mine

“A veteran is someone who, at one point in their life wrote a blank check made payable to “The United States of America,” for an amount up to and including their life.”   — Unknown

IN FLANDERS FIELDS

In Flanders fields the poppies blow

Between the crosses, row on row,

That mark our place; and in the sky

The larks, still bravely singing, fly

Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago

We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,

Loved and were loved, and now we lie

In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:

To you from failing hands we throw

The torch; be yours to hold it high.

If ye break faith with us who die

We shall not sleep, though poppies grow

In Flanders fields.

-Lt Col John McCrae, 1915