Tradition or Doctrine?

The topic on my heart tonight is one that is somewhat controversial and may not be well received, but I think it is worth discussing. Now if you weren't a Christian since childhood, it may not make a lot of sense to you; but if you were raised in the church like I was, please hear me out.

A photo with #3 from last year

As I have matured into an adult, there were many steps along the way that taught me that life is a lot more complicated than the simple world of my childhood. From moving out on my own, to joining the military, to getting married, I have learned so much in the last few years - and of course, this is just another step in the journey, God is far from finished with me yet, and I know I have so much more to learn. But with much thought and prayer, with experiences ranging the spectrum from amazingly, unbelievably blissful to life-threatening and permanently scarring, I have come to the conclusion that a lot of what I learned in the Christian churches of my childhood wasn't true.

And the main reason for that is this: a lot of what is taught in Christian literature, families, and church pulpits today didn't come from God, but rather from people.

Let's be honest. A lot of the Bible is very clear, black-and-white if you will, but there is a lot of gray area that is open to interpretation and personal conviction. Moreover, a lot of what people think is black-and-white, when taken in context with the original languages and the culture of the day, really isn't so cut and dried as we've always been told. So much of what we're taught as doctrine today can be more accurately called tradition.

I'm not knocking tradition. In fact, I love traditions. But they are just that - traditions, not unchangeable and not absolutes.

Before you call me heretical, stop and think of a well-known, wide-spread church teaching. Got one in mind? Good. Now start thinking about the Bible verses usually used to support that teaching. Do those Bible verses ACTUALLY outline and delineate that teaching, or have they been twisted, used out of context, and influenced into supporting someone's opinion? Note: this may require actually analyzing the context, original language, etc. and that is a lot more work than most Christians today want to put into it, choosing rather to accept what they have been told than to find out for themselves.

Part of my journey in learning to make my faith real was learning that things are not always what they seem. For awhile I questioned God, since the God I was starting to see and understand did not look much like the God I had been told about. The God I've come to know is concerned with the status of my heart, not the outward appearances. He doesn't care about the length of my clothes, the job that I work, or what I do with my money nearly so much as He cares about whether I love Him and the people He has made and placed in my life. He doesn't have some kind of cosmic check-off list involving things you can do to please Him - He's made it very clear what He desires of us, and most of the things we're told to do in order to please Him are far from pleasing.

Possibly the worst part of this image, however, is the inherent hypocrisy of the church that teaches against it and yet still practices it. We are told that the Bible forbids smoking (under the pretext of taking care of the body) in the middle of a sermon preached by an obese minister. We are admonished against gossip and then invited to social events involving nothing but empty chatter. I heard a sermon preached on tithing which used Biblical authority to declare the congregants to be in sin if tithing less than 10% - but anything over that amount is perfectly acceptable. I've heard well-meaning and sincere brothers and sisters emphatically declare that this or that is how God wants them to do things (clothing, money, work, etc) and be in complete contradiction of each other, each believing the other wrong and misquoting Bible passages to support their beliefs.

Is God contradictory? Is He a deity of confusion, of fickleness, or of hypocrisy? Is any of this really concerning to Him or is it our hearts that interest Him?

The problem is that when you accept His directive to love God first and love your neighbor as yourself as being the most important thing to Him (after all, He stated that this is His greatest and only commandment - Mark 12:29-31), you realize that all those other things that seemed so important are really insignificant. If my brother feels led to a certain line of work, then that is between him and God and really none of my concern. If my sister feels personally convicted about a certain type of clothing, what is that to me? Neither of us are more or less holy for following our own personal relationships with God. Let Him take care of all that other stuff.

But see, here's where it becomes radical. Because we're not used to letting go of stuff like that. If you're still holding on to the traditions, it can get downright uncomfortable.

Here's what I know:

I've met people from all walks of life who love Jesus. I've met rich people and homeless people serving the same God. I've met political opposites, straight and gay, black, white, and every other color out there who follow Jesus' commandment. There are people shouting on street corners and people working quietly behind the scenes; some in dead-end jobs and some in corner offices; stay at home moms and dads and well-suited CEOs that bow to the same Lord and Savior. They don't all have the same style of worship or identify under the same or any denomination or even religious organization, but the God that sees every heart knows what is in theirs, and that is the bottom line.



Some suggested reading:
Grace Is Not a Cheeseburger: Faith, love, and who God is
FreedHearts: Do other people's opinions change your Christian status?
Rachel Held Evans: Proverbs 31 woman

Breakfast

"Man cannot live by bread alone; sometimes he needs a little buttering up." - John C. Maxwell

First let me say...I am SO not a morning person! I greatly dislike early mornings. Once I'm thoroughly awake I'm fine, but running on 4 or 5 hours of sleep and getting up at 8am...yeah not my favorite thing!

Breakfast table waiting,
pancakes ready

That being said, I get to see my wonderful husband for only about 4 hours a day right now. Every moment is precious. So I try my best to have breakfast ready and on the table when he gets home in the mornings so we can spend that time together.

It used to be that lunch was the biggest meal of our day, the meal we shared and enjoyed together. Now, however, breakfast is the focal meal of our day, which means I've had to start getting creative on breakfasts so we're not just eating the same thing every day.

Cereal and toast is a staple, as are pancakes with a variety of toppings - my sweetheart sticks to the basic maple syrup, I like to experiment with peanut butter, jelly, honey, cream cheese, etc.) or the variation of waffles (thanks to my inlaws for a nice waffle maker!). But nobody wants that every day, right? So I've been getting creative.

You can almost hear the sizzle!

Not everything is a hit - for instance, I made overnight oatmeal with chocolate. I thought it was fabulous, my hubby ate about half the mug and declared he was no longer hungry! Oh well...

I've played with the pancake recipe enough to know how to modify it just the way we like. The basic bisquick pancake recipe is so bland, I always add a little cinnamon, vanilla, and honey...and they turn out amazing! Great texture and flavor, and easy enough that I can have an oven-warmed plate stacked with hot, delicious pancakes on the table by the time my honey gets home.

Waffles are a bit trickier, but the key to a successful waffle recipe is to beat the egg first. This causes the waffles to be fluffier, while leaving them in the waffle iron for about 30 seconds longer than they need to cook causes them to be a little crispier on the outside. It's definitely a learning process, but I'm getting a lot better!

Breakfast quesadillas
of amazingness

Of course, there's the standard fare - eggs, bacon, and sausage. Oh, how versatile is this combination! One morning we can cook up entire packages of bacon and sausage, with about half a dozen eggs, and feast like kings! The leftovers, however, inspire more options for several more meals. For instance, one of our favorites is 3-cheese breakfast quesadillas: an artistic assortment of mozzarella, cheddar, and American cheeses with leftover scrambled eggs, bacon, and sausage, all sandwiched between two tortillas and cooked on our quesadilla maker until the tortillas are crispy and the cheese is melty and gooey and awesome.

Another great breakfast idea I found recently was egg muffins. Stay with me, be open-minded, and just try this amazingness. A 12-cup muffin tin, with the bottom of each cup lightly covered in hash browns (or tater tots, or basically potatoes of any kind, or whatever your heart desires). Sausage and bacon, cut and torn into small chunks and bits, to nearly the top of the cups. A mixture of 5 or 6 eggs, half cup milk, and half cup Bisquick, distributed evenly among the 12 cups (spooning it in is slow and messy, but my sweetie came up with the brilliant idea to use a turkey baster!). Sprinkle cheese on top, bake at 350 for 20 minutes... Let me just say, they are incredible. And if you doubt me, keep in mind that the recipe made 12 and my honey ate 6! In all fairness, he had just come off night shift with nothing to eat since the day before, but still - they are husband approved!

Egg muffins. They're
seriously awesome!

And then on the special days, on the days worth celebrating, or just for a nice surprise, breakfast might involve something sweet. We have a tradition of Pillsbury cinnamon rolls on Sundays, as they are a quick special meal when we're feeling lazy, or an easy treat if we're rushing out the door to go to church. Another idea, that takes only a little more work, is crescent-roll dough wrapped around chocolate chips and marshmallows - the marshmallows disappear but you can still taste them. It's an easy, heavenly indoor alternative to s'mores. Extra special mornings, like Christmas, call for extra awesomeness, like french toast made with cinnamon raisin bread, covered in syrup and powdered sugar.

I'd love to hear your ideas on breakfast meals - the easier the better, but any delicious ideas welcomed! Or tell me about the main meal in your family and what creative recipes you have tried. And if you try any of the recipes I've mentioned, shoot me a note to let me know how it turned out!

Bekah out :)

Let It Snow

Until two years ago, I had never seen snow fall from the sky. Let me tell you, the first time I saw falling snow, it was a life-changing experience! It was amazing, mind-blowing stuff, magical and beautiful and exhilarating. I wanted nothing more than to look at it, watch it, play in it, experience it in any way possible.

Cornfields covered in snow

Fast forward two years... It's not so magical anymore.

Don't get me wrong, it's still pretty to look at. And there's still something very peaceful about watching it fall gently from the sky. That is, assuming it is falling gently and not pelting violently against my face like a tiny, blindingly white army with tiny sharp spears.

My front yard last year

It's beautiful when it blankets the ground, hiding flaws and turning any open space into a blank canvas, a winter wonderland of white-trimmed trees and the tracks of woodland creatures. It's not quite so beautiful when you have to drive in it, praying all the way that you stay on the road and safely reach your destination. Within hours, roads turn into a disappointing gray slush that looks horrible and threatens to grab your tires and send you spinning out of control. And even when the roads are plowed, even the slightest wind can blow it all back into your path.

Of course, along with snow comes another problem: cold. Surprisingly enough, some days we wish it was warm enough to snow - I never knew before last year that it could literally be too cold to snow. But once snow melts a little and the temperature drops below freezing, watch out. Ice is a tricky and fickle punk - even four wheel drive doesn't help much on ice. Ice causes more deaths annually than all other weather hazards combined (see icyroadsafety.com). Let me tell you, ice is an extremely scary thing, whether on foot or behind the wheel.

#3 playing in the snow

All that is true...yet somehow when you see snow through the eyes of a child, it becomes magical again. Even my dog suddenly gets a blast of energy when she touches snow, turning into a running, jumping, frolicking whirlwind. And then there's snow angels and snowmen and snowballs and all the fun that comes from a day playing in the snow. I guess, in a way, it's still magical. And curling up with your sweetheart and a cup of hot chocolate to watch the snow fall...well, that's when you make your own magic.

We may not always live in the snowy regions of the country. My family in Southern California regularly sends me photos of the beach to make me jealous - by the way, thank you very much! Rub it in, why don't ya! My wonderful hubby and I have discussed moving to warmer climates to settle down; we'll see what God has planned for our future. In the meantime, we will enjoy what we have, see the positives in everything, and make the best of our situation. As I write this, snow is falling gently and turning the view outside my window into a beautiful winter landscape and for the moment, all is well in my world. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

(You sang that in your head, didn't you?)

Be My Valentine?

This Valentine's Day is EXTRA special! It is the first Valentine's Day I've ever been able to spend with a special someone, but it is also the first Valentine's Day that I get to share with my wonderful husband! Not only that, but he managed to get the day off. Considering that, so far, one or both of us has worked on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and both of our birthdays, getting to spend Valentine's Day together is an extraordinary treat! My honey has made dinner reservations for us - he won't tell me where, but he's quite proud of himself for getting them. And I have a few surprises up my own sleeve (*wink*) ahem...

Of course, as everyone does around Valentine's Day, I've been thinking about love. What is love?

Love is sacrifice. Love is laying down your life for another. Love is putting another's needs and desires before your own.

In day-to-day life, love is back rubs when you're tired, breakfast when you don't want to be awake, and getting up in the middle of the night because someone is sick. Love is cleaning the toilet, taking out the trash, making the bed, and knowing when to answer the phone and when to turn it off. Love is long talks when something's on your mind and long hugs when you wake up from a nightmare. Love is a long-distance call from my parents, a friend who is willing to listen, a family member who won't let you give up, and a Savior that died so that we can live.

That's what love looks like to me. And if I had nothing else in the world, I would be incredibly, unbelievably, overwhelmingly blessed just to love and be loved.

Very little is known about St. Valentine. Through all the legends surrounding his existence, however, a common thread runs. St. Valentine was a priest, an avid follower of Jesus Christ, and a courageous man willing to stand up for his beliefs. When his faith was challenged, he boldly stood his ground, declared Jesus to be the only way, and miracles happened. When the government outlawed soldiers marrying, he performed weddings in secret because he believed in God's law above man's and love over hate. He was eventually martyred for refusing to renounce his faith in Jesus. It is fitting that the day named for him should celebrate not only the cheesy, romantic, commercialized love but true sacrificial love, since he sacrificed everything for believing in that love.

Well, I'm off to finish planning my surprises for my sweetheart. He has no idea what he's in for! I wish a happy Valentine's Day to you - and, if applicable, to yours!

...

P.S. Side note... If there is nobody special in your life this Valentine's Day, I understand how it feels to be alone - I was there up until this year. Please don't become cynical. Instead of focusing on your loneliness, celebrate the sacrificial love of a Savior who gave everything just to be with you. Ask Him to be your valentine, and you might just find it is the best Valentine's Day ever!

Forgiveness

I sat in the car last Sunday afternoon, gripping my husband's hand as a tear slid down my cheek. We had driven past a place that holds some very, very bad memories for me.

Some of you know that last spring I went through an extremely traumatic situation. It wounded me to the core and left me questioning everything I knew about life, who I am, even who God is. Now, nearly a year later, I can see that some very good things have come out of what originally felt like a hopeless situation. The Lord has done a lot in my heart, and with the support of my husband, family, and a few close friends I have been able to heal and recover more than I ever could've alone.

So why does it still hurt so much?

The more I thought and prayed about it, the more I realized that forgiveness and healing are inextricably linked, and together they form a living, ongoing growth. What I mean to say is that you can't have one without the other, and neither is a one-time event. Although I have forgiven him before, as life changes sometimes it needs to be done again.

In light of that, I want to say publicly:

I forgive the man who hurt me. I forgive him for what he did to me emotionally as well as physically. I forgive everyone connected with him for their part in the situation. I forgive the people that jumped to conclusions and judged me without hearing my side of the story. And I forgive myself, because I can't keep blaming myself for what I can't change.

A dear sister who has been there for me through it all

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you." -Lewis B. Smedes

Forgiveness and healing go hand in hand. Does it mean that the hurt immediately goes away? NO. It doesn't. But it means that the hurt and the memories and the nightmares can't hold you captive. It means that you can experience the freedom, the liberation, that comes when you let it go. And every time the bad memories come flooding back and threaten to overwhelm, that still small voice in my
heart reminds me to forgive again (and again, and again - see Matthew 18:22), and then and only then do I find victory.

We've all been hurt, we've all felt pain, and we all have a choice on how to react. As Martin Luther King Jr once said, "Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude."

People and Radical Love

"I love mankind; it's people I can't stand." -Charles Schulz, author of Peanuts
 

Haiti playground team, 2012

I'm a classic introvert. I can be outgoing, but it is exhausting. After spending time around people, I need time alone to recharge. I care very deeply about people but it takes a lot out of me after awhile.
 
But here's the deal. Jesus loves people. He loves each and every person who ever was or will be born. Loves enough to lay down His life for each of us.
 
I know what that kind of love is like. I have looked down the barrel of a loaded gun and was willing to die to protect someone I loved. It's not an experience I would care to repeat, but it has taught me a lot about the love God has for each of us.
 
And the kicker is: if we love Him, we have to love other people too.
 

Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 22:37-40 NKJV

Jesus answered him, “The first of all the commandments is: ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’This is the first commandment. And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:29-31

 
Getting the hint yet? In God's mind, that we love the people made in God's image is ALMOST as important as that we love God Himself. To make it even clearer:

If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also. 1 John 4:20-21

 
Well, that's pretty straightforward. Can't get a lot clearer than that.
 
Now, in all those commandments to love, did you see any qualifying factors in there about WHO to love? There's no footnote in there, no loopholes to get you out of needing to love any person or group of persons. It doesn't say, "Love your neighbor - unless they make you feel uncomfortable." Or, "Love your neighbor, except the ones you think are wrong; those you can stop loving."
 

939th MP Company

There is no excuse for treating any person made in the image of God in an unloving way. This doesn't mean that justice shouldn't be done or that there shouldn't be consequences for actions. Nor does it mean that there won't be people that treat you in a way that makes it very difficult. But it does mean that every person is an incredibly beloved creation of our Father, and as such is to be treated with respect and compassion.
 
After all, what have I done to deserve love? In no way am I any better than any other person out there, and yet I am loved and so are they. As Susan Cottrell says in her blog FreedHearts, "Be radically inclusive, because you have been radically included."
 
My prayer today is that we would learn to love like God does; that He would show us how to love the people with whom we come in contact; and that we would stop judging one another, leave that up to God, and simply love as we have been loved.